Work-Life Balance: A Myth or Reality for Single Parents?

Balancing work and life is a conversation that has gained momentum in recent years, yet for single parents—especially single mothers—the term can feel like a cruel myth. As a single mother, I have lived this struggle first-hand, walking the tightrope between providing for my children, navigating societal expectations, and trying to carve out a meaningful career. The reality is nuanced, steeped in sacrifice, and rarely in balance.

The Dual Expectations: Society and Workplace

Being a single mother, society often places a dual weight on your shoulders. At home, you’re expected to be the nurturing, ever-present parent who fulfils every need of your children. At work, there’s an added layer of expectation—not just as an employee, but as a woman. Women are often burdened with unspoken, higher standards, expected to be collaborative, polite, and efficient, while simultaneously working harder to prove their worth.

For those of us from mixed ethnic backgrounds, the societal complexities only intensify. The cultural expectations of being a good mother, coupled with navigating systemic biases, often force us to create our own small worlds just to cope.

The Career Trade-Offs

As children grow, their needs evolve, and single parents must constantly adapt. At the same time, career demands escalate. Though many jobs stipulate a standard 38-hour workweek, the reality is much different. Mundane, unnecessary meetings eat into productive hours. Managers, aware of your vulnerability as a parent who "needs this job," may exploit it—calling you during vacation, expecting after-hours availability, and, in some cases, deducting pay for time you didn’t "show up."

This creates an impossible choice: focus on work and risk being emotionally absent for your children, or prioritize your family and jeopardize career progression. Either way, judgment follows. Work sees you as "lazy" or "unfit," while family life may lead to guilt-laden accusations of being absent.

The Emotional Toll

One of the most painful aspects of this journey is realizing that, in trying to balance everything, you often lose yourself. When your children are grown and your career feels stagnant, you may look back and see a life spent running on a hamster wheel—always trying, never arriving. This isn’t just anecdotal; studies back it up. Research published in the journal Work–Life Balance and Mental Health confirms that low balance can significantly harm mental and physical health. Another systematic review highlights how this imbalance often disproportionately affects women, particularly those in caregiving roles.

The Systemic Challenge

The truth is, single parents aren’t set up to win in a world where work-life balance is framed as an individual responsibility. The pressure to "figure it out" falls squarely on our shoulders, while organizations and societal structures rarely provide meaningful support.

Generational studies reveal that younger workers, like Gen Z, prioritize work-life balance and reject traditional notions of overwork. Yet, for single parents, the choice isn’t always available. Flexible work arrangements and realistic managerial expectations are still exceptions rather than norms in many industries.

Reframing Work-Life Balance

Is work-life balance a myth? For many single parents, it feels that way. Yet, perhaps it’s time to redefine what balance means. Instead of striving for a perfect equilibrium, we can aim for periods of focus in one area while letting another temporarily take a backseat.

Organizational policies, like mandatory flexible hours, comprehensive childcare support, and fair evaluation systems, are crucial to making balance feel more attainable. But until these become widespread, it falls on us to set boundaries where we can and advocate for systemic change.

Final Thoughts

For single parents, work-life balance isn’t just a personal ambition; it’s a fight against systems that demand more than they give. The truth is, balance often feels unattainable, a myth we chase at great personal cost. But the first step toward reclaiming it is acknowledging its complexity—and insisting that workplaces and communities do the same.

This journey has taught me one thing: we need to redefine success, not by how well we balance everything, but by how well we live within the reality of our constraints, crafting a life that prioritizes both survival and joy, even if not in equal measure.